Hello, I am
by California Gruesome
Summary: "You couldn't be serious for ten minutes. Could you, Tuesday? You can't tell me or anyone anything before cracking a joke about it afterwards. Face it: You. Can't. Be. Serious" - Kenny. Hollywood Grimm, Noodle311, ChristyWinchester101, Purple Panda Pimp.


A/N: Here is the official introduction of my character Tuesday! -whoop whoop sqee sqee rah rah!- :D. I thought this was a cute little assignment that i thought up of when i was in ISS today. Gross. So uh, ladies and gentlemen TUESDAY ACQUA! :DD

* * *

" Okay, you little faggots" Mr. Garrison sighed as he flipped through his monthly issue of ''gayboy'' magazine. It really was just play boy only of... men. His eyes were lazy as he barely glanced up at us; his poor victims also known as his class. If he was bored all the time so much; why is it that every grade we move up we have him? I didn't know, and i'm sure as hell no one else does.

"Because the bitch in the pink sweater threw the god forsaking code of conduct book at me early this week," Mr. Garrison sneered, remembering the time Principal Victoria literally _threw_ the book at him. I smirked. Well; he had deserved it. Who the hell gives kids pieces of cake in science class and just when they were about to eat it; mention that he had grounded up rat tails in there? You bitch ass... Anyway, i'm dragging this along.

"You low lives will write a personal narrative or letter or whatever to me, introducing yourselves. You will have to become completely intact with yourself and throw it all on paper. It is due next... Tuesday," He glanced at me. I mentally flipped him off. I get it; you jack ass. My name is Tuesday. Whoop de damn do. "And will have to be typed. I understand that i am gay but i will not except rainbow colored homework. Okay, _**Clyde**_?"

"FIGHT NOT WHAT CAN NOT BE FOUGHT!"

"SIT DOWN, BOWL BOY!"

" I need little victims to pass out the rubrics" i raised my hand. Anything to get up and actually **move**. I grabbed the rubrics and passed them out, one by one and row by row. Looking at the classroom i realized how small and enclosed the area is. How the fuck was i supposed to learn in this environment?

When i gave Kyle his rubric, i smacked him behind the head. I tilted my own skull towards a certain girl two seats in front of him. He knew what i was mentally saying. He shook his head no. Whatever; he will ask Addie out. I swear. As i gave Kenny his rubric; he obviously took this as an oppurtunity to grope my ass. "No, bad Kenny _bad" _i whispered. He smirked. Then i plopped my ass down in my seat. If Mr. Garrison expected me to take this assignment seriously all i have to say is good luck.

"Now as i was saying. Tyler Perry is really the gay offspring of Billy Mayes. Tyler Perry made Justin Bieber, the little faggot that is really a robot with a 16 year olds face. When he was created he-" Mr. Garrison started, but i tuned him out.

"And Oprah is really just Whoopi Goldbergs' bottom bitch-"

This is bullshit.

When i was just about to consider suicide by strangling of pink panties, a note settled on my desk. Joy, another tree wasted because some knuckle head wants to say something. I felt like a criminal as i opened it up to read it. It said: _**Janitors closet after sir panty hose here stops yammering? My friend the pants man wants to meet your lady friend ;).**_

Kenny. Course, first thing he would talk about is sex. So last month i decided to give him my virginity; and now he can't get enough of little inexperienced Tuesday. I wrote back.

**_Uh, not today, Kenny._**

I watched him open the note and frown. He the scribbled something rapidly back onto it and slipped it on my desk once again.

**_D'aw, why? Your not shy now, are you? I can fix that. I can fix a lot of things._**

I giggled. He just didn't understand that i was uncomfortable. I suck at sex; at life; and everything.Seriously.

**_Me? Shy? Nah. Just not today._**

**__****Why don't you ever open up to me anymore? =w=**

Woah, didn't see that coming.

_**What do you mean by THAT?**_

_**I mean you don't ever talk to me anymore! You never tell me anything, and i just feel so... so lost.**_

_**Kenny, lol, don't try that with me.**_

_**Try what? I'm seriously hurt here.**_

_**D'aww, does kenny need his mommy?**_

_**Crossing a line much? I'm really trying to tell you how i feel here!**_

_**Sure Kenny, sure.**_

_**Alright, you know what? I'm done. You obviously don't take me seriously.**_

_**Oh come on Kenny!**_

_**No, No. I'm done.**_

Then the bell rang. I decided to talk to him; i don't understand why he was acting so weird.

"Kenny? What was with the note?" i asked him in the hallway and he semi-glared at me. That made me scared.

"You don't take me seriously, Meredith." he said cooly. _Meredith?_ The shit? No one calls me Meredith unless they are seriously mad or calling roll.

"Look, it's not that i don't take you seriously. It's just that-"

"It's just that i'm Kenny, and i can feel nothing, right?"

"What? That's not it at all!"

"Sure."

"Hey! I'm serious!"

"You couldn't be serious for ten minutes. Could you, Tuesday? You can't tell me or anyone anything before cracking a joke about it afterwards. Face it: You. Can't. Be. Serious"

His words made my blood boil. Me? Not serious? Excuse me for trying to be a happy individual! Well, fine!

"You know what? I'll make you a bet. That fuckery assignment Mr Garrison gace us about introducing ourselves? I'll prove to you that i can be serious in front of everyone. Kay?" I peered at him, hazel meeting blue. GOD, his eyes. "Sure, madmoiselle, i'll see you in a week... See what i did there? adding a bit of Italian? Cause you know, you're Italian? Huh? Huh? Yah gotta love me." He walked off and i held my tounge. I knew madmoiselle was french, he didn't have to.

* * *

" It's gonna be sunny all this week!"

Fuckery.

I couldn't write shit. Be damned, writers block! I don't know, maybe i needed to talk to someone. Someone.. important. I heard a knock on my orange door, as i whispered "andiamo dentro!" My brother, Nicholas, walked in with a tray of mint chocolate chip ice cream. I smiled.

"Hey, big brother." i took the bowl from him and began demolishing the frozen diabetes. "What's up?"

"I heard you upstairs swearing in Italian. I was , wait, i don't care. Or- yes i do. Wait a second" he sighed.

"Make up your mind, Nickers." i grimanced getting off my red swivel chair. I flopped on my polka dot bed and staired at the blue ceiling.

"What are you doing?"

"Go play in traffic. On a sunday. Wearing nothing but your boxers."

"Touchy, touchy." he got up and sat at the edge of my bed, throwing my stuffed animal at my green wall. "What's the problem, sorellina?"

"Kenny"

"Where's my pistol?"

"No! I made a bet with him and now i'm stuck."

"...Where's my pistol?"

"NICKERS!"

"Alright, alright! So what happened?"

"Blah, i can't be serious. Have to write something. Have writers block." i sighed a threw the pillow over my face. Maybe if i died right here i can be serious enough. Nah. that's stupud. i actually want to live to own my dad's restaurant, THANK YOU.

"Just write about you." He nestled his head in his hands and pondered, openly. I shuddered. "About myself? Why? I'm so freaking annoying, and useless. and so-"

"Meredith Tuesday Acqua, being serious." He smirked. "But uh, you could just wallow in your own self, being so.. selfy. Writers block is a slut, but you can either tip her or chase her out of your midnight club." He left on that note. Write about myself? What moron would write about me? I'm so... Unwriteable. Not a word, but his is what i am. What i be.

Hold the phone, inspiration! What i am.. what i be... I got to work, asap. I had given myself a spectacular idea.

* * *

I fell asleep writing my paper, but thank god i had finished before dosing off. i jumped in the shower and threw on my red flannel shirt and some jeans. Did i feel like converses today? Nope. Black boots would do. I slipped on my red earrings and gloves, then bolted through the door grabbing a strawberry poptart.

-Tick!- First period. Fuck first period. Seriously? I don't care about algebra. It's math mixed with he alphabet.

-Tick!- Third period. Groan, when will sixth period arrive? I swear the clock just seems to go slower when i need it to go faster. When i need it, man.

God, finally, sixth period arrived. I was enthusiastic as fuck, and everyone else was just a bouncy. I personally loved Jude's essay; talking about Bob Marley and that song Video Killed The Radio Star. How that introduces her? How doesn't it introduce her?

Then, oh then it was my turn. I walked up to the front of the class and starred at Kenny. He smirked. The little bastard, i thought to myself. And then i began to read.

"Hello, i am Tuesday. I am here to write about my crap because i have no other choice and i actually want to get an A on this assignment. Let's get this over , i am Tuesday, and i have many flaws. I am not perfect, but i try my best everyday to be the most excellent person i can be. I love my friends, i do what i have to do to protect them, and i am a writer. I love rainy days; it's as if the world is crying and begging us to stop polluting her. I was naturally born with Auburn hair, but then i dyed it blonde and this is the result. My real name is Meredith, but my second name is Tuesday, as you know. I have secrets, secrets i am unsure of if anyone knows about. I mean; besides the fact that i have had a crush on Kenny McCormick for a super long time, technically, it's no longer a secret.

I have friends, like any other teenage girl does. They tell me they love me everyday, and my heart swells like a bitch every time they do. I am so very very insecure, although so many people tell me i'm beautiful; i have even had a super model from Rome say she wished she looked like me. From that day forward i always wondered if her mirror was broken, or if she was just as stupid as the model stereotype claims. I am not beautiful; i am mere rubbish compared to the beauty of even everyday people. I do not wear much makeup; perhaps some lipstick and eyeliner; but that is all.

I really do hope to one day be an actress. I think i'm good at it, and i hope i can be as successful as i dream i can be. I love photography; it's a blessing that one curious child decided to invent one. I'm not one for technology; though i love playing with all kinds of it's creations and making my own. I have piles of crap in my basement; all bolts and screws from things even i can't recall. It's just what I do when i am in desperate need for something called inspiration.

My friends play a huge toll on my life; they are everything to me. They are the ones who tell me everyday that i am worth everything they think i am. It is them who make me important, make me matter. Nothing can deprive me of the love they share.

I am not a fighter. In fact; one can even call me a coward. I tremble at the thought of me ever geting into a fight with anyone; it's just so pointless to me that one needs to use their fists to speak. This is what you have a mouth for. Be excellent to one another; as i have heard Jude say from time to time. And i must say; her words speak nothing less of the truth.

I need to make a special part of this to my boyfriend; Kenny. Honestly, I can't imagine; no; i can;t possibly live without the fact that i know who you are. If i didn't know you; my life would be totally different. We're complete opposites; but that's just one of the many things i love about you. I will not rush this relationship; but i will admit i have accidentally scribbled ''Tuesday McCormick'' on my tests papers more than once. It's embarrassing, really, to have my teachers ask ''WHO'S TUESDAY MCCORMICK?" Over and over again. Quite funny; actually. Kenny i really adore you; you make everything in life just seem so bright. Even if you are a hopeless pervert; i love you because you CAN be perverted and get away with it. Your cute, Kenny. Really cute.

If i died today; i know that you all would miss me. But i have left my memories of ''pure awesome'' as Christy would state; for you. I will try to make everyone's days as happy as possible; and even if i don't accomplish this goal i WILL make sure that i am remebered. I will be known as Meredith Tuesday Acqua for the rest of my life; and my after life."

I finished and looked at my class. Why were they loooking at me like that? I knew it was bad but not this bad! Damn it!

"I...I finished?" i stammered.

"BODACIOUS, MY MOST EXCELLENT AMIGO!" Jude shouted, her slopping grin never leaving her face. She walked up to me and gave me a huge wet kiss on the cheek. Christy laughed, and Laura panicked. Addie, on the other hand, went crazy.

"NO WAI. YOU TOTALLY WENT EMO ON ME. NO, WE NEED TO PARTY YOU UP"

I laughed at her comment. I then guided my attention to Kenny. He was still starring at me, wide eyed. I smiled and nodded, and he eturned this. When class time actually ended, he grabbed my arm and whispered, "That was nice, Tuesday. I always knew you thought i was cute"

"Oh shut up, Kenny" i grinned.

"So, you literally write Tuesday McCormick on your papers? Awesome"

* * *

A/N: TERRIBLE ONE SHOT -shoots herself- I just had to let it out, i needed some Kenday, man. Totally. I HOPE I DIDN'T KILL IT, YOU KNOW, SINCE I CAN'T WRITE FOR SHIT. OH WELL READ AND REVIEW,, KAY? I KNOW IT SEEMS KINDA RUSHED, BUT THAT'S TOTALLY WHAT IT NEEDED. So intense. Like cereally. Bye guys.


End file.
